Place all chicken-related ingredients in the slow cooker, cover, and cook on high for 2 hours or low for 3-4 hours.
For the stove top: Put all chicken-related ingredients in a pan, bring to a boil, then simmer, partly covered, for 10 minutes. Turn off the heat and let chicken rest in the hot water spa for an additional 15-20 minutes, then follow the rest of the instructions below.
Slice all the salad ingredients as thinly as possible. If you have a mandoline slicer, all the better. Toss everything in a very large bowl and refrigerate until it's time to assemble.
Make the dressing: Place all ingredients ' except salt and pepper' in a small bowl and mix energetically with a fork until blended. Taste, then season with salt and pepper.
Sauce the chicken: Either in the slow cooker or a large bowl, shred the chicken with two forks. It should fall apart pretty easily. Heat a large saute pan over medium heat and add the coconut oil. When it's melted, add the chicken, toss to coat, then pour in the hot sauce and toss until it's coated and kinda shiny. You can either stop there, or if you're like me and are addicted to caramelized, let it sizzle for a few minutes to earn some brown bits.
Assemble: Toss the salad with the ranch dressing I started with two tablespoons of dressing and added just a little at a time until the vegetables were coated but not swimming in dressing. Toss for at least two minutes for maximum coverage. Divide the salad between plates and top with a mound of Buffalo Chicken.
For Homemade Mayo
Put the yolks in a bowl (blender, food processor) with the mustard, if using, and 1 tsp lemon juice and mix those ingredients together.
Start whisking vigorously (blender or food processor on low) while dripping the oil very slowly, even drop by drop in the beginning.
As you add more oil, the emulsion will form and the mayonnaise will start to thicken and you can pour the oil faster at this point.
When all the oil is incorporated and the mayonnaise is thick, add the rest of the lemon juice and taste your creation. You can season to taste with salt and pepper.